


Don't die, kitten

by the_winterfloof_17



Series: Brightest Blue ever seen [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Remembers, M/M, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Protective Bucky Barnes, Tired Tony Stark, Tony Angst, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:47:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25733800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_winterfloof_17/pseuds/the_winterfloof_17
Summary: It's when the palladium starts to spread in his blood, that the veins start showing more, and Tony wants to give up then. But few people want that to happen, including the Winter Soldier.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: Brightest Blue ever seen [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1855435
Comments: 3
Kudos: 258





	Don't die, kitten

**Author's Note:**

> This story does not follow the Iron Man 2 storyline

_Take me to the rooftop  
I wanna see the world when I stop breathing, turning blue  
Tell me love is endless, don't be so pretentious  
Leave me like you do_

_If you need me, wanna see me  
Better hurry 'cause I'm leaving soon_

Listen Before I Go - Billie Eilish 

….

It was when the chlorophyll smoothies weren’t enough or that his blood toxicity was slowly increasing that Tony decided that he wouldn’t care anymore. Of course he knew that deciding to be reckless wouldn’t turn out well. It never did, but it wasn’t something that Tony wasn’t unfamiliar with. All throughout his life, he was known to be reckless, just go look him up on Youtube or the news, they could tell you for him. 

Being reckless meant not caring, and recently after everything that happened with Obadiah and Ten Rings, Tony was learning to care more. He was using Iron Man as a way to protect the world, erase what Stark Industries had, erase his name as the Merchant of Death. Now that weapons are no longer being sold by Stark Industries, Tony decided to design things like the new Starkpad and finally release the new update for the Starkphone.

Everything was going really great, even though the relationship or what could’ve been with Pepper, didn’t work out exactly. Surprisingly, Tony was ok with that because his feelings were hidden for someone else. Tony knew he should’ve said something about the Winter Soldier, apparently a ghost in the assassin world, to Agent Coulson or Nick Fury maybe, but he didn’t. The thing was, Tony wasn’t ready to tell anyone, he had Jarvis identify who the Winter Soldier was, not surprised when the Soldier was an assassin for Hydra. Jarvis was unable to identify the face, which made it more difficult for Tony to understand who the man really was. Sometimes, he prayed that the Soldier wasn’t just hanging around with him because he was a target, but because he actually wanted to. 

Although the encounters so far were more recent now, after he came back from Afghanistan. And whenever Tony would look up at the very bright blue sky, he thought of the Soldier. Because no matter where the Soldier was, he would see the same thing as Tony, whether it was stars or white, puffy clouds. Sometimes, when Tony just couldn’t handle doing experiments or inventions in his lab, or didn’t feel like working on SI work, he walked outside. Stand at the balcony facing the ocean and looking up at the sky, taking in everything he could. 

At the moment, Tony was in New York for a meeting before going back to California, it was a sunny day, not too warm either. Since he only had an hour or two before the board meeting, he decided to go to Central park. Walking there, watching the city bustle with energy made Tony more calm as he walked on the soft green grass in the park. He decided to sit in front of a tree, not caring at the moment if he got dirt on the new suit he wore, laying against the trunk of the tree. Tony had the perfect view of the very bright blue sky, the clouds fading throughout it. Every muscle relaxed in him as he craned his neck up to the sky, breathing in the fresh air and feeling it move his hair. 

Looking up at the sky, everything little thing that was on Tony’s mind was erased, the idea and possibility of him dying was gone for a moment. For a moment, it was ok, he didn’t have to worry, plus he didn’t have a headache anymore. Because of that, his thoughts floated towards the Soldier again, part of him hoping that he would show up. But Tony didn’t want to think like that right now, just keep it simple, sweet? 

Then again, nothing ever went to plan for Tony, something _always_ came up, which meant that that was the moment the Soldier made his appearance. It made Tony jump when the Soldier sat next to him quietly, not even saying a word. The Soldier looked at him, the mask still on of course, but his eyes were staring at Tony. It was clear that the Soldier looked confused even while sitting next to Tony. “It’s ok if you don’t remember.” Saying that though didn’t help him at all, he couldn’t tell if he was saying that for himself or to the Soldier. Whoever the Soldier’s handler was from Hydra didn’t want him to remember anything and Tony wondered why he never asked questions. He decided to not say anything else, not sure whether what he said or not would scare the Soldier since he couldn’t remember Tony. They both looked up at the sky though, as if they were best of friends, no words needing to be said. 

He noticed how the Soldier stayed longer this time, a new record really for him and Tony. Plus, Tony was ok with that, glad that the Soldier wasn’t afraid to run just yet. When the Soldier did leave, Tony was ok with it, it saddened him a bit but it was ok, and that was when he got up to head to his meeting. He felt more relaxed too, and when Pepper was surprised that Tony didn’t interrupt any of the board members, she didn’t ask.

… 

The crowd cheered loudly as Tony walked on the stage, putting on his press smile, waving to the crowd as the backup dancers finished their routine. He smiled as the crowds silenced themselves as he spoke, talking about the future, the possibilities, and of course, the legacy the world would leave behind for the next generation. After that, he let Howard, or the film of Howard talk about the technology and the Stark Expo. Behind the closed curtains though, the smile fell as he checked the blood toxicity levels, the red number nineteen percent glaring right back at him. Tony sighed, running his hand through his hair as the impulse of wanting to walk away from this entered his head. Yet, he wanted to do the Expo, even though Pepper said it would be a waste of time, from her words, “helping his ego,” which wasn’t entirely true… well, maybe. 

It made Tony groan, because Jarvis had tested every element on the periodic table and nothing worked, it just made Tony want to roll over and take a cat nap. Honestly, if these days were gonna be his last, Tony planned on making them good. 

Happy had told him that they were leaving in five minutes, and so Tony just stood outside of the stage, waiting for Happy to pull the car around. People had passed by in the halls, trying to chat with him or ask for an autograph, none of which Tony wanted to do. He really just wanted to go home, have a drink, and maybe work on something in the workshop. He sucked on the finger that was bleeding, smiling and waving like usual to anyone passing, but like usual, there was always weird timing for the Soldier to appear. He didn’t notice the looming presence in front of him, surprised when leather-covered hands slowly pulled his hand away from his mouth. The Soldier’s hand slowly tugged on his wrist, turning it so the palm was facing upward. He brushed his fingers over the puncture on Tony’s thumb, applying pressure there before rubbing small circles into his hand. 

Tony looked up, meeting those pale blue eyes, smiling softly as the Soldier nodded before he walked away, disappearing quickly into the crowd. He noted the fact that the Soldier was wearing civilian clothes this time, no weapons insight, and that his metal arm was covered. Had the Soldier been following Tony? Because if so, Tony would be ok with that, and as always, the Soldier calmed him down. He was thankful that he didn’t have to look up at the sky to have the Soldier’s presence appear. As long as he was near Tony, he was ok with it.  


... 

Tony hated being handed things, because that meant he had a responsibility now, something he had to do, and so when the really cute girl handed him the letter saying he had to appear in D.C. He had a pretty good reason now when things were handed to him. Luckily Happy took the letter as Tony just smiled at her flirtatiously before speeding away to D.C. 

When he stood before Senator Stern, who was being an absolute asshole, Tony would snark right back. Because no one would be getting the Iron Man suit anytime soon. They were his, they were his creation, and after Obie’s mess, Tony refused to share things that he created. Why? Because, well, just look up Obadiah Stane and you’d understand from there. Yeah, even though Shield covered it up, there was still footage out there showing what happened. Did Tony care though? Definitely not, but that’s kinda what got him here in the first place, standing before the Senate. 

Tony was ready to lose it though when Senatore Stern asked for Justin Hammer, (a hack, thank you very much,) come up to speak. It made Tony roll his eyes so hard that it could give him a headache, because of course the government would trust Hammer Industries. Justin Hammer didn’t care if the weapons he made caused destruction, he just wanted the money, and plus, he wasn’t even smart, wasn’t a genius like Tony Stark. Yeah it didn’t matter whether he went to an Ivy League college or private school because honestly, Tony just didn’t understand how this guy even had a company at all. See, stuff like this made people think Tony was a hypocrite sometimes, and he knew that’s what people thought too, but did he say anything? No, besides he was dying now so they could get over it.  
Justin was hitting a little too close to home though when he mentioned Howard, how he made weapons back in the day, and used metaphors that didn’t even make sense. Yet, the Senate was eating that up real fast, thinking they did themselves proud for picking this sorry excuse of a guy. Tony wondered how Justin could sleep at night, did he think he was smart? Or that he made America proud? 

Anyway, getting off topic about that imposter, Tony didn’t notice when they called in Rhodey, it only slightly surprised him as he met Rhodey half way. “Honeybear, didn’t expect you to be here.” 

“Look, don’t start, ok? I’m here, deal with it. Moving on.” Rhodey said before rolling his eyes at Tony, who followed him back to their seats. For the rest of the conference, Tony snarked his way through it, making jokes, and throwing on his sunglasses. This time he won the battle, but he knew it wouldn’t last forever. The best part of the conference was though that he got to ruin Hammer’s company by showing them a video of a recreation of the Iron Man suit. He winced when the test pilot shrieked as the creation, (no, it didn’t deserve the name of robot,) turned in a way that just didn’t look correct. 

Leaving the conference was the best part because why, he kissed Senator Stern goodbye before putting his sunglasses on and smiling. He smiled even bigger when he saw Pepper face palming and Rhodey trying to hide the smirk on his face as Tony left. 

“You can count on me to pleasure myself.” He winked at the camera before walking out, the sun shining down on him as he walked. The paparazzi followed him as Happy directed him to the car, giving them the peace sign as they drove away. 

… 

He sat in his workshop again, already threatening U that he would turn him into a wine rack as Jarvis ran diagnostics on how he was doing. He gagged as he drank the chlorophyll drink, hearing that he was now drinking eighty ounces a day to stop himself from dying. Tony wondered if maybe it was a good idea to just die now, get it over with, quick and painless, those ideas were running through his head as he checked the blood toxicity levels, which was twenty-four percent now, lovely, right? He was playing with Death again, and of course, Death would plan on making it slow and painful for Tony to enjoy. 

His heart almost stopped too when Jarvis said that using the Iron Man suit was only making it worse, which made Tony even sadder. He listened to Jarvis as he pulled another palladium core out, seeing the core smoking as he took it out. “Unfortunately, the device that’s keeping you alive is also killing you.” Jarvis’ voice rang out as he looked over the blue crossword-like veins starting from the reactor, pulling it down quickly as Pepper came in. 

Twenty minutes later, somehow, in the moment, Tony simply gave the company over to Pepper, giving her the whole speech on how he was looking for a successor for the company, blah blah blah. Basically shoving it in her face and saying, hey, you can do better than me, so here’s the company. Pepper didn’t even know how to respond, too shocked to even notice Tony handing her a glass of champagne. Ok, ok, so maybe he was planning it but nobody really needs to know that, correct? Yes, correct, thanks, because you, Tony, you are just that good. That’s what he told himself as Pepper left, muttering that she would actually have to think about it before making a final decision. Tony simply shook his head, already knowing the answer but not arguing about it. 

It certainly frustrated Tony that he couldn’t figure out a way to stop the poisoning from happening, it really made him want to stomp his foot, saying it was unfair. But that wasn’t going to help him at all, because for now, Tony was just dying. Simply dying from something that once saved him. Somehow, he ended up at the balcony of the mansion, inhaling the ocean air. He leaned against it, closing his eyes, trying to relax his brain from overthinking. 

His eyelashes fluttered as a looming shadow stood behind him, staring quietly at him. The Soldier moved to stand next to him, his fingers slightly dancing over Tony’s shoulder blades, tracing his vertebrae. Like the many other encounters they had together, no words needed to be said, which Tony felt better about. If anyone close to him knew him, they would know he was terrible at expressing feelings or apologizing because apparently that was a problem. What he loved, no wait, _liked_ about the Soldier was that they didn’t need to say anything to express what they were feeling. With the Soldiers presence there, Tony was able to relax a little, and because of that he could get stuck in the moment sometimes. 

Tony noticed this time that the Soldier was in his ‘Soldier/Assassin’ gear, but yet he couldn’t smell blood on him. Perhaps Hydra didn’t send him out yet or the Soldier didn’t complete his mission yet, whatever it was though, could clearly wait because he managed to come to Tony’s side. He wondered if maybe the Soldier just knew when Tony was alone that he made an appearance, or maybe he knew when Tony wanted his presence there. 

The only signal Tony would have for the Soldier was if he looked up at the bright blue sky and just hoped he would show up. What made it even better was when the Soldier came, the words he would say would usually be: _“I know you,”_ and that was ok with Tony. Somehow, if Hydra was trying to erase his memory, it made Tony happy that the Soldier remembered him. They both looked up at the sky, watching the clouds floating around and the sun shining down on them. Tony’s eyes meeting the Soldier’s, noticing charcoal maybe, or eyeliner covering the Soldier’s eyes. It made him more mysterious, and Hydra probably intended to keep his identity secret or to scare people. That could be the case, but to Tony, looking at the Soldier’s eyes, it just made him more pretty, more mysterious and dangerous.

Like always, the Soldier had curiosity shining in his eyes, his leather-covered hand reaching for Tony’s. It was as if Tony was a china doll, so fragile that the Soldier was afraid he would break, lightly tracing the veins standing out Tony’s wrist. They both nodded to each other before the Soldier disappeared quickly, leaving no trace behind. For a moment, Tony forgot what he was worried about, his brain somehow trying to catch up. 

… 

He was boxing with Happy when Pepper came, announcing that he needed to sign a few things before they left for Monaco. He stopped punching Hogan when a red head came in, following Pepper behind. Pepper announced her as the notary from the legal department of SI. Tony looked her over, although it would be considered ogling or checking her out but he was analyzing her. Probably not a good idea since he didn’t want another lawsuit against him but he felt like he couldn’t figure her out. She definitely wasn’t another pretty face, she looked calculating, and it looked like she was doing the same thing with him. He asked if she wanted to hop in the ring with Happy, ignoring Pepper saying _Tony no_ , and saying she didn’t have to do it. 

Her name was Natalie Rushman, she could speak French, Spanish, Russian, and Latin? As Happy was teasing her in the ring, Tony investigated further, finding pictures of her modeling in Tokyo and having a good background in Law. He bickered with Pepper before he watched before his very eyes, Natalie using her thighs to curl around Happy’s neck and flip him onto his back with a loud thud. Pepper gasped, “Happy!” Running towards the man while Tony just observed Natalie from afar, feeling suspicious about who she really was. Her profile was perfect, great background, but it was almost like it was too perfect, and Tony wasn’t one for perfect profiles. Tony didn’t trust people if they didn’t at least have a dark side to them, and don’t deny the fact that no one did, because they definitely did. You didn’t have to be a villain or a superhero to have a dark side, in his opinion at least. 

After finally signing the company to Pepper, he watched as Natalie left, before turning to Pepper and smiling. “I want one.”

“No.” She smiled right back at him. 

… 

The city of Monaco buzzed as Tony and Pepper arrived near the Hotel De Paris, fans were cheering as Tony got out first, followed by Pepper as they made their way in. He teased Pepper as cameras flashed in their faces while they posed, meeting halfway with Natalie. Somehow, Pepper ended up having Natalie as her assistant, which helped Tony investigate or observe her more, and he wouldn’t be surprised if she was doing the same thing in return. 

It was going well, really well up until Just Hammer just had to annoy him. Justin teased him as he introduced Christine Everhart, which Tony already knew. He frowned slightly as Miss. Everhart wanted to speak to Pep for Vanity Fair, which came along with Hammer bragging that she was doing a spread on him too. Tony wondered how much Hammer paid this time for them to do a piece on him, because he didn’t think Vanity Fair ever planned on that. If Hammer was trying to get bragging rights about being on Vanity Fair, Tony could play that game, which ended with him saying that Christine did a piece on him last year along with a story for Vanity Fair. Pepper chipped in too, saying that the piece was rather _interesting_ , a well done piece that Tony remembered hearing was trash. 

Because Pepper was just so evil that way, she ended up going to the bathroom, leaving Tony to deal with Hammer and Everhart. And somehow, they ended up getting a picture along with a few insults thrown at each other in the process, which made it all the better. But since he was dying, Tony could play along with the cameras if Hammer left him alone, which didn’t end up happening either. To get Hammer from not annoying the living crap out of him, Tony agreed that if Hammer had a good invention or project to present, he’d give him a slot in the Stark Expo if it shut him up for once. 

He was able to get away from any more journalists and Pepper to go to the bathroom, checking the blood toxicity level, which was fifty-three percent today. He sighed, looking in the mirror, for a guy dying, Tony thought he looked pretty good, so far. He had untied his tie and unbuttoned his shirt to see the damage, seeing the crossword puzzle patterns spreading from the reactor now to the rest of his chest. Before, it was only around the reactor but now it was spreading, and Tony didn’t know how to stop it. 

Tony felt helpless, because he was watching himself slowly dying from something that once saved him, and no one knew. It’s not that he didn’t want anyone to know but if he told Pep or Rhodey, they would freak, and he didn’t want that. He knew they would be supportive about what was happening and worry but Tony didn’t want anyone to worry. If he kept searching, maybe there was still hope, but who knows what would happen. He was a dying man after all. 

Looking at himself in the mirror, Tony stared into his own eyes, before looking away and leaning on the bathroom sink. He pretended that he was outside again, looking up at the sky, the Soldier next to him. Tony would lie his head on the Soldier’s shoulder, tracing patterns into his metal arm, maybe they’d be laying on a beach or in Central park. Or they could stay outside on the balcony, looking up at the beautiful stars in the dark sky. He closed his eyes, imagining it all perfectly, forgetting that he was here in Monaco, that he was dying, or that the Rushman girl was observing everything he did. 

There were hands, lovely, slightly calloused, hands circling his waist before they moved up to the arc reactor. The hands tracing the veins spreading from the arc reactor as he felt someone’s warm breathing near his neck. He looked in the mirror again, meeting pale blue eyes, the wandering hands pulling him by the waist towards the Soldier. The Soldier was nuzzling into his neck, the black smudged around his eyes made him look more like a predator. Clearly the Soldier remembered him because Tony could’ve sworn that he wasn’t this touchy with the Soldier the last time. 

He looked in the mirror again, straightening slightly which did nothing for the Soldier as he was taller than Tony. The Soldier moved his arms to wrap around his neck, continuing to nuzzle into his neck, as Tony looked at the mirror. The Soldier meeting his eyes, Tony craned his head, smirking and said “You got any bad ideas?”

… 

Ok, throw him a bone, when he asked that question, he didn’t think he’d get an answer. But yet here he was, ready to drive in the race which would probably give Pepper an aneurysm. Plus this was another example of being reckless right now but hey, he was dying. If he wanted to speed down a racetrack and almost get himself killed, it would be fine. Tony remembered the smirk on the Soldier before he walked away again, leaving Tony confused. Perhaps the Soldier knew exactly what he was thinking and didn’t object, leaving his actions to speak for him. Before he knew it, he was in a blue race track suit with his name splattered across it. The original racer grew angry as Tony said he would be driving instead, watching the man storm off while Tony took his place. 

He felt his phone vibrate, automatically assuming that it was Pepper that was calling as he got in the car. He heard the signal to start and sped on the track, the adrenaline running through his dying veins, hearing his heartbeat in his ear drums. He gripped his hands on the steering wheel as he passed by the other racers, focusing only on finishing. He didn’t mind if he won but at the moment, he was just taking it all in. Unfortunately, someone must’ve gotten the memo that he was dying and decided to try to end it themselves. The man stopped in the middle of the track, two long cords of electricity bolts lashing through each car that passed by him. In the moment, Tony thought he could run the guy over but clearly not because in the next moment the car was being sliced open. 

Without the suit, Tony knew he was defenseless but he was a genius, he’d figure something out. He was able to distract the man while he set the car on fire, running away. He knew he looked like he was being a coward but the only way was to distract the man. That was the plan until Pepper and Happy came speeding in, running the guy right into the metal fence. He ran over as Pepper was screaming and shaking, Happy telling him to get in the car. 

“Are you out of your mind?!!” Pepper screeched as Tony rambled to her how they almost hit him. “Where’s the case?” Tony yelled, ignoring Pepper’s yelling as Happy said it was in the backseat. He walked to the right side of the car, scrambling to try to get the damn door open. The guy sliced right through the door as Tony tried to grab the case. Pepper’s screaming did not help the situation at all as he was finally able to put the suit on, able to fight the man so far, pulling his electro whip things and pulling him towards Tony. 

Tony guessed that this is what he got for finally having a vacation after two years, and someone knew that he was dying. Everything was going _great_ , until a shadow appeared next to Tony’s shadow, he didn’t have to think to know who it was. But it was also pretty risky for said person to be out here, especially in front of all these crowds. Without hesitation, a bullet went through the man’s head, ending whatever could’ve been for him and Tony. The shadow is gone and the crowd cheers, they must’ve thought that it was Tony that did it, the police running to cover the now dead body. He tried looking around for the shadow again, but there was nothing, it was over with, fast and quick.

… 

It turns out that the guy’s name was Ivan Vanko, son of Anton Vanko, who was an enemy or rival of Howard’s. He wouldn’t be surprised if dear old dad didn’t leave anything bad behind for him, considering Howard had a lot of enemies back then really, the only reason why Tony was kidnapped all the time growing up. 

But it appeared that Ivan wanted revenge for Howard deporting his father and then being sent to Siberia and sentenced to prison. How Anton had a kid, Tony would never know but Ivan was able to recreate the arc reactor, and thanks to a certain person, the threat was gone. 

But now, he still needed to figure out how to not die, which is what he was trying to figure out while sitting in one of his cars, learning more about Ivan Vanko. He didn’t have to see the palladium core to know that it was fried, making him weaker, the palladium was probably going through his blood faster because he hadn’t put a new one in. It made him weaker and Tony hated being weak, especially in front of people he loved. He lightly chuckled at how he tried to tell Pepper he was dying and boy, would she kill him later on when she figured it out. 

He didn’t hear a figure approach him, he had no energy at the moment, his vision too blurry to notice, and the reflection of the hologram showed how pale he was. “Котенок, look at me.” Tony turned, his mouth slightly agape as the Soldier looked down at him. “Let’s go.” The Soldier nodded as Tony opened the car door, too weak to stand fully. His knees buckled as the Soldier caught him in time, his arm wrapping around Tony’s waist and steadying him. The Soldier whispered quiet words in Russian in Tony’s ear as they walked to his desk, pulling out the cigar box full of palladium cores. The Soldier’s hands didn’t leave his shoulders as Tony put in the new core, sighing in relief as he leaned more into the Soldier. The Soldier ran his fingers through Tony’s hair as Tony just sighed in content. 

“Thank you.”

“For what?” The Soldier looked down at him, his eyes only shown with sincerity and fondness. Tony was getting better at understanding what emotions the Soldier was showing now through his eyes. He could’ve sworn there was a hint of Brooklyn accent, maybe?

“For killing that man for me.” Tony didn’t need an answer from the Soldier, only the continuation of fingers running through his hair. When the Soldier laughed in return, it made his heart flutter, oh, how that laugh made him want to fly in the bright blue sky right now. “You are welcome, Котенок.” The Soldier kissed the top of his head before disappearing from sight, just as Rhodey came in, talking about how he needed to protect his suits or whatever. 

Tony only nodded along, too dazed at what happened moments before Rhodey came in. He hid his smile as Rhodey continued to lecture him. 

… 

Tony decided that instead of getting drunk and having a party, he wanted to cancel. But Natalie had said he should have the party, reassuring him it would be fine. Tony bit back his response of yeah, that’s great but I’m dying so having a party isn’t a good idea. He knew it was a bad idea but fine, whatever, let’s blow things up and get drunk. Which is what exactly happened an hour later as Pepper and Rhodey arrived. He was drunk but careful enough that he didn’t destroy too many things. He was still coherent to not destroy his whole house in the process. 

All of it was making him more tired, it didn’t help either that now Rhodey had the idea of taking one of his suits to stop Tony. Why he thought it was a good idea, Tony wouldn’t know but honestly at this point, he was ready to drop dead, _literally_. He was secretly grateful as Rhodey used the suit to shuffle people out as Tony leaned against the bar car, too tired to complain. Pepper came over, tapping on the faceplate frantically as Tony laughed at her drunkenly. Instead of opening the faceplate, Tony flew off, ignoring the pleas and shouts, deciding in that moment he wanted donuts, because donuts were good for a dying man. 

He ended buying a few donuts, and then flying on the actual donut shape the shop had as its’ thing, watching as cars passed by and the sun came up. He leaned against the donut statue, eating a donut as he looked up at the sky. He wondered if the Soldier could see this, see the beautiful colors of oranges, pinks, and faint purples rise up from the darkness. 

All of that is ruined, because peace can never settle for Tony, as Nick Fury shouts for him to exit the donut. Tony rolled his eyes at him as he flew down, noticing that the shop was now empty, “I don’t want to join your super-secret boy band, Fury.” After those words, Tony then learns that Natalie is actually Natasha Romanov, an shield operative who was sent to watch Tony. Surprisingly, Tony knew something was up but this was fine, as long as she didn't go selling information on him or Pepper, which she jokingly said maybe. He forgave her then, because she looked like a person that wasn’t entirely bad although she was a spy, you can’t depend on a spy if they work alone. Which reminded Tony that if he ever needed her, there was a fifty percent chance she might come. 

He also did forgive her for stabbing a needle into his neck, stopping the palladium from making that blood toxicity level a hundred percent. He didn’t really feel like being a jerk right now so he went with the lecture that Fury gave him about giving everything away. Fury should know though that it was his decision, he was dying at the time but now there’s a chance that he could stop it all so don’t blame him for giving away everything. 

Fury leaves and that’s when he asks Natasha to keep what he’s about to say a secret. “Nat, if I tell you something, you can’t repeat it to anyone else.” She raised an eyebrow at him, “oh wow we’re already on nicknames, huh? What is it?”

“Ya know what, if I tell you, you're gonna get all spidery on me and leave.” 

“Just tell me then before I eat you.” Tony glared at her playfully, before he looked down at the donut he was finishing, “what do you know about the Winter Soldier?” Her eyes widen slightly before she pulls her composure together, looking anywhere but him. “Why do you ask?”

“Curiosity perhaps?” She looked at him incredulously, “what’s the real reason?”

“If I tell you then what’s the fun in that?”

“Tell me and I might be able to help you.”

“I’ve seen the Winter Soldier, at many different points in time. The first time I saw him was when I was seven years old.” Natasha nodded at that, listening intently, he could see the cogs turning in her head, even though he didn’t know exactly what she was thinking.

“He’s a ghost really, a myth, so it’s hard to believe that you saw him when you were seven. How did you see him?”

“Don’t laugh when I tell you this but I asked him if he would watch the sky with me. Like watch the clouds and stuff.” Nat just looked at him for a second, and Tony didn’t really blame her if she thought it was hard to believe. Even he found it hard to believe sometimes on how they met, but it became normal for him. “Look, all I wanna know is who he is, I’ve tried to identify him but he always wears the mask.”

“Wait, when was the last time he visited you?”

“The day after Monaco, in my workshop. Look, I know he works for Hydra but that’s about it.”

“If it makes you feel better and motivates you to actually figure out a way to stop dying, I can find some information on him.” Tony looked at her to see if she was playing tricks on him but it was clear she wasn’t lying, hopefully. 

“Fine. Let me finish my donut.”

… 

Turns out there was a way to stop him from dying and that meant going through Howard’s notes first and then almost burning down his lab in the process, including almost slicing DUM-E and U in the process. It was worth it but now he could taste coconut and metal because of it, better than palladium. Turns out too that Natasha was supposed to report on whether he was fit for the Avengers Initiative, which ended up being Iron Man: Yes, Tony Stark: Yes, and he didn’t know for sure whether she did that because he asked her about the Soldier or whether she believed that he would be good. 

She did end up writing that he was a textbook narcissist at times and slightly reckless, could work together with people if he wanted to, but would need work on that. Honestly Tony kind of disagreed, he didn’t work well with any people in general but Natasha probably decided to look past that. Maybe give him a chance and see where it goes instead of writing what he thought she should’ve written. 

When Tony finally did tell Pepper and Rhodey, they were angry and hurt that he didn’t tell them sooner but were glad that he was no longer dying. Pepper told him that he wasn’t allowed to make omelets anymore, because 1, he was terrible at making them, 2, because he was dying and didn’t tell her sooner. They didn’t speak to him for a week but it took taking them out to dinner and getting a lecture from Rhodey about not being alone in this, to finally get them to cool down. 

When the crossword-like veins were gone, and he was feeling better, he went out to Central park, laying down on the grass and looking up at the very bright blue sky. Did he intentionally go there to maybe see the Soldier, maybe, but that was his business alone. Was he actually surprised when the Soldier came, wearing nothing but his Winter Soldier gear, no he wasn’t. He was ok with it, because if the Soldier was still there, after everything that happened so far, Tony was ok with it.


End file.
